Cultivar:

Giraffe Puzzy

Who:

Unknown

Lineage:

Zkittlez x Chemdawg

Package Date:

Sometime around late September/early October.

Price:

$60

Aroma:

Rose Water, Floral Carpet Cleaner Powder, Sour Earth, The Zoo.

Composition:

All smalls. No trichs. Just dull, yellow-tinged chlorophyll-colored bud. Perfect humidity.

Palate:

Combustion: Laundry Detergent, Floral Dry Shampoo, Goat Feed. Lingering Candle Wax.

Vapor: Perfume, Carpet Cleaner, Rabbit Food, Petting Zoo.

Effect:

Mild – Even head and body buzz.

Overall:

I’d never heard of the term #privilegepack until recently. These are rare, exotic batches of flower that apparently you need to be privileged to even obtain. Sounds silly to me, but apparently this 1/8th of Giraffe Puzzy I got falls into the elite clique.

First off, this bag design. I mean, even if this weed is atrocious, I’m still happy to add this cheeky art to my collection. Just look at the smirk on that giraffe. But onto the product…

Jumpin Jehoshaphat, this nose is loco! It’s so abrasively floral that I can’t help but shudder every time I dip into the bag. Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was sprayed with something. I don’t think I’ve ever had terps this loud, I just wish I liked them. Underneath the acrid, floral carpet cleaner stench there is a nasty, stinky, “zoo” quality to it all – clearly coming from the Chemdawg male. Yep, you heard that right. I was just at the L.A. Zoo a couple weeks ago, so this smell was recently in my brain… and it’s in this bag.

I was told the whole batch was smalls, but I couldn’t help but laughing when dumping out the pack. These are miserable looking nugs. An ugly, toxic green exterior, with hardly any trichs to be seen, is the prettiest part. The inside is yellow, and looks like somewhere along the growing process this bud didn’t get proper nutrition or flush. The humidity is perfect.

Smoke is smooth, but leaves my mouth with a potpourri film that lingers, playing against the proprietary dirty animal taste. It’s like I’ve walked into a petting zoo that’s been infiltrated by a young girl’s Sweet 16 birthday party – as acrid, bitter, cheap perfume collides with the scent glands, urine, and musk from goats, giraffes, and other zoo creatures.

Like some cruel April’s fools joke, these terps are only accentuated by dialing down the temperature. Vapor has every bit of what I’ve described above, with the naseuating addition of animal food pellets – the kind you get from sticking a quarter into a gumball machine next to the petting zoo. It is deplorable.

I’m convinced that Giraffe Puzzy is a troll strain. Something like this can only be concocted, and then distributed by the most sadistic of minds. I, in no way shape or form, recommend you pick this up. If anyone wants to grab the last of my 1/8th you are more than welcome to free of charge.

The Fire Scale:

1 🔥